


Den of the Dead

by yourebrilliant



Category: Glee
Genre: Crack, F/M, Gen, M/M, Zombies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-17
Updated: 2012-12-17
Packaged: 2017-11-21 09:41:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/596265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourebrilliant/pseuds/yourebrilliant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt and Blaine come across an altercation with an unusual ending in the Hudson-Hummel den.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Den of the Dead

‘Stop it,’ Kurt murmured, without looking up from his notebook.

‘I have no idea what you’re talking about,’ Blaine responded.  ‘I’m studying.’  They were ensconced in Kurt’s bedroom, school books spread on the floor in front of them as they sat side-by-side, leaning against the base of Kurt’s bed.

‘No,’ Kurt said, smiling lop-sidedly at Blaine, ‘ _I_ ’m studying.  _You_ ’re still impersonating Tom Jones in the middle of the courtyard.  I can feel your foot tapping against my leg.’

Blaine smiled sheepishly.  ‘It was good, though, wasn’t it,’ he said happily, nudging Kurt with his shoulder.

‘Until Santana’s wanton destruction of Glee Club property?’ Kurt asked rhetorically.  ‘Yes, it was very good.’   He nudged Blaine back.

‘Yeah,’ Blaine said, making a face, ‘that was quite a stunt.  What did she say she was protesting?’

Before Kurt could answer, the sound of muffled shouting floated upstairs.  Kurt and Blaine exchanged a look of bemusement before moving, with silent consent, to Kurt’s bedroom door to better eavesdrop on the altercation downstairs.

‘I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’D SHOW YOUR FACE HERE AFTER EVERYTHING YOU DID LAST YEAR!’

‘That’s Finn,’ Kurt whispered.

‘Who’s he yelling at?’ Blaine murmured.  ‘Can’t be your Dad.’

Kurt shrugged.  ‘I can’t hear them.  They’re not shouting.’

‘In that case, I think we need to get closer.’  Placing one hand in the small of Kurt’s back, he nudged Kurt out of the door and the two of them crept to the top of the stairs.

‘Finn, calm down.’

‘ _Rachel_?’ Kurt gasped.

‘He wouldn’t be yelling at Rachel like that, would he?’ Blaine asked quietly.  Kurt shushed him.

‘Jesse, I think you’d better leave,’ Rachel continued.

‘You’re damn right he should!’ Finn yelled.

Kurt drew in a breath.  ‘Jesse!’ he hissed.  Kurt quickly grabbed Blaine’s hand and dragged him down the stairs.  The two of them crept forward until they could see into the family den, where Finn was towering over Jesse, red-faced and furious.  Jesse was leaning arrogantly against the couch next to him, as Rachel stood next to the two men, clearly trying to mediate.

‘What’s the matter, Finn,’ Jesse drawled, ‘afraid you’ll lose your girl again?’

‘Now, Jesse-’ Rachel began, but Finn interrupted her.

‘Hardly,’ he spat, ‘she’s too smart for that.’

‘In which case, I can’t help but wonder what she’s doing with you,’ Jesse retorted.

‘What’re you trying to say?’ Finn hissed, taking a step forward.

‘I would have thought even you could figure _that_ out, jock.’  Standing up, he reached out and pushed lightly at Finn’s chest.

‘Don’t test me, man,’ Finn said, his fists clenched at his sides.

‘A request you should put to the school board if you ever want to leave McKinley,’ Jesse retorted.

‘That’s it!’  Finn growled.  ‘I’ve had enough of you thinking you’re so great just because of a few trophies; taunting me, hurting Rachel.’  Suddenly a gun appeared in Finn’s hand.  ‘It’s time to end this.’

‘Finn, no!’ Rachel gasped, clinging onto his arm to try and hold him back.

‘Where did that gun come from?’ Blaine asked quietly.

‘Not the most important question,’ Kurt hissed, frustrated at his sudden inability to move.  As soon as he’d seen the gun in Finn’s hand, Kurt had felt frozen in place, unable to rush in and stop Finn from making a horrible mistake.

Suddenly Finn shook Rachel off, swung the gun up and pulled the trigger.  Jesse gasped as the bullet hit straight into his heart, his hands clasping his chest as he crumpled to the floor.

‘Finn!’ Kurt yelled, breaking free of his shock to run to the couch where Finn had slumped numbly against the couch arm.  ‘What were you thinking?’ he cried.

‘I...don’t know,’ Finn muttered, dazedly.  He stared in awe at the smoking gun in his hand before dropping it in disgust and shuffling along the couch arm.

‘Is he?’ Blaine asked Rachel, who was crouched next to Jesse’s body.

She twisted to face him, her face white, tears in her eyes, and nodded.  ‘He’s gone,’ she whispered.  Blaine reached down and helped her to her feet, wrapping a comforting arm around her shoulders.

‘What’re we gonna do?’ Kurt asked quietly, hugging himself.

Finn stirred from his daze.  ‘About what?’

Kurt gaped at him.  ‘About the _body_.  It’s not _Weekend at Bernie’s_ , Finn!  We can’t just prop him up in the music room and pretend he’s still insulting us!’

‘Kurt.’  Blaine reached over and placed a hand on Kurt’s arm.  Kurt drew in a deep breath.

‘Look, we can’t leave it here, and there’s nowhere we can bury it that someone won’t find it.  Believe me, I’ve seen CSI, I know.’

‘What if we make it look like an accident?’ Finn suggested.

‘Who accidentally gets shot?’ Blaine asked.

‘No, no,’ Finn stood up, warming to his suggestion, ‘we make it so they can’t _tell_ he was shot.  Jesse’s car’s outside.  If we make sure it’s chock-full of gas, and then make it look like he lost control and crashed.  _Fwoom_.’  Finn spread his hands to describe an explosion.  ‘The fire destroys any evidence of how he _really_ died, and the fact that it’s a car crash makes it look like accidental death.  Nothing suspicious, so no need for CSI.’

Kurt, Blaine, and Rachel exchanged glances.  ‘Sounds good to me,’ Rachel said quietly.

‘I don’t have anything better,’ Blaine admitted.

‘Fine,’ Kurt said, ‘let’s get him to the car.’

As the four of them moved to pick up the body, there was a sudden groaning.

‘What was that?’ Blaine asked.

Before anyone could answer, Jesse began to drag himself upright, his skin already slack and grey, his eyes blank and staring.

‘Wait, he’s a _zombie,_ now?’ Blaine asked sceptically.

‘Get out of the way!’ Finn yelled, hustling the other three behind him.  Jesse was now standing and began inexorably making his way towards them, shuffling closer and closer, his arms outstretched, fingers grasping.  As they staggered backwards, Kurt tripped on the step to the hall and Blaine wrapped an arm around his waist and dragged him up.  Suddenly Jesse lunged forward, reaching for Finn.

‘No!’ Rachel yelled, as Jesse devoured her boyfriend.  Kurt gasped, and buried his face in Blaine’s shoulder.  They stumbled backwards, Blaine releasing Rachel to scrabble behind them for the door handle, just as Kurt felt an ice cold hand grip his shoulder.  He screamed-

-and woke up.

‘Kurt, hey, Kurt.  Are you okay?’  Kurt found himself sitting in the den, bent forward and breathing rapidly.  Blaine was sitting next to him on the couch, a hand resting on Kurt’s back comfortingly, as he watched Kurt anxiously.

Kurt stared at him wide-eyed.  ‘I...we were studying and we heard shouting and then Finn shot Jesse, and we were going to make it look like an accident, but then Jesse was a zombie and he ate Finn and he was going to eat _me_ -’

‘Kurt, listen to me.’ Blaine turned Kurt to face him, holding onto both arms and staring into his eyes. ‘It was just a dream.’

‘Just a dream,’ Kurt whispered.

‘That’s right.’  Blaine stroked Kurt’s arms, comfortingly.  Reaching up, he brushed the hair out of Kurt’s eyes and rubbed his thumbs over Kurt’s temples soothingly, before he leant forward and gently kissed him.  Kurt sighed, and felt himself begin to relax.

Leaning back against the couch, Blaine smiled warmly at Kurt.  ‘Only you could fall asleep in the middle of Dawn of the Dead.’

Kurt wrinkled his nose disparagingly.  'It needs more musical numbers,' he declared, settling himself in the curve of Blaine's arm and drawing his feet up onto the couch as his heart rate slowed again.

Blaine laughed softly and wrapped an arm around Kurt.  'I'll pass that along.'

'You do that,' Kurt agreed, resting his head on Blaine's shoulder once more.  'So,' he said, nodding towards the carnage onscreen, 'what did I miss? _'_


End file.
